1st team match report by 'Will Kemps burnt jock-strap'
Game number one in Division Two....Leeds Police away.
Full eleven for the first game. All arrived on time. Juniors seemed more concerned about the West Indian pace bowler than warming up.
Young Coe opened the bowling with older Crampo at the other end. Leeds Police were in twenty-20 mode and were soon eleven for two. One each to the opening bowlers including a good catch from Lennox. The polite waiter came in number three and hung around for a while. Twelve overs gone and time for a double change.
Peiter-fan at one end and Captain Hills at the other. Waiter took a fancy to the slow stuff but missed a straight one and was gone. In came the West Indian quickie.....could he bat as well? No......... big swing miss, big swing miss. Time for a change at the other end...... The moustachioed one wisely gave a single and then offered the quickie a tempter, he promptly obliged by skying one to Hutton. To make a game of it Bucky then offered a few cheap runs, ably assisted by Peiter-fan bottling a couple of hard drives and allowing a couple of fours.
The rozzers regained control with Sgt Hussain threatening to take the game away from the 2nd division newcomers. The captain eventually tempted him to one swing too many, edging a very sharp chance which was well taken by Buck at slip.
Time to bring Crampo back to clean up the tail, assisted by Coe and Peiter-fan. Some rather agricultural shots mixed in with a dogged performance from the number 6 got the fuzz to 208 all out. Fines this week for Bottomley, Hutton (dropped catches) and Borrowdale (byes).
Time for tea - Hutton got a plateful and sat with the umpires - clever tactic when batting second....try and befriend them in the hope of getting the extra benefit of the doubt....
Buck and Bottomley opened up, great start with a wide from PC Nadir, who then found his range and bowled Bottomley 1-1, Hutton then entered proceedings looking in good touch. The waiter became rather keen and some jolly banter was exchanged between keeper, umpire and batsmen....welcome to Division Two. Police could smell a lead and appeared to be appealing for everything. Shouts of catch it as the ball hit the top of the tree did however smell of desperation.
Hutton eventually fell to an interesting LBW decision (those tea time tactics certainly did not work). Peiter-fan entered proceedings and stroked a couple of boundaries before trying one shot too many. Captain Hills arrived at the wicket and put on a quick 50 with Bucky....eventually the drinks break told and Bucky exited quickly followed by Wraggy and Crampo. Denno arrived at the crease and put on a few with the captain - Denno was under strict orders to get the side to 156 (1 point) and played with great restraint. Leeds Police rang the changes but still no sign of the West Indian quickie. Captain Hills mis-timed one to mid wicket. Leaving Denno and Borrowdale 10 overs to get 17 for the point. 7.3 overs later and borowdale exited, still 2 needed for the point.
Enter Lennox. Marching out with trousers almost down to knees. First ball...whack .... straight six (his first ever). Whilst the ball was being retrieved Inspector Khan at silly mid off challenged Lennox to see if he could hit the next one further. He did. Before the ball landed Khan and Lennox exchanged handshakes - odd, most odd. Sensing the chance to cut loose Denno then hit two big sixes of his own to end up 34 not out.
Last over, Lennox on strike, twenty needed. First ball Lennox swung....and missed - out. Five balls to go and just Coe to come. Despite being crowded Coe was up to the questioning and played out the over with a straight bat.
Not a bad start for Saxton (remember last year ??). Time will tell but with a little more self belief this could again be a good season.
1) Not all West Indians are fast bowlers.
2) Not all wides are wides.
3) Never let Rory collect the money again.
Next up Bramhope at home........
All opinions expressed by the burnt jock strap are written with a smile - no offence is meant and it is hoped none is taken.