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Match Report

South Milford A (6) v Saxton A (0)

5th September 2009

Saxton A 118 all out, South Milford A 121/3 - South Milford A won by 7 wickets

An overcast windy day greeted the visitors to the somewhat cramped ground at South Milford. The news that East Keswick had gained all six points from a defeat the previous week due to their opponents 'fielding an ineligible player' meant that rather than two points, 5 points were needed to ensure promotion from 'noddy cricket' (quote from Mr G.B. aka Chewie, Tea-boy and overweight illegitimate child). This lack of respect for village cricket at it's most entertaining and sporting was not well received by those who would struggle even more in a more competitive and less forgiving environment.

Anyway, the issue may yet be moot, because the Saxton Seconds batted like they didn't want to go up anyway, with the only exception being the Hobblin Gilbo - cruelly given LBW (it was plumb) because he was too tired to move having reached 49 in 30 overs. All sorts of reasons were offered - losing the toss, the pudding-like wicket, the wind, the conjunction of Venus and Mars - but the truth is that only the Young Gaffer could claim to be slightly unlucky, driving a cracker straight to mid-off and being caught when he swore it was still rising and only two foot off the ground. Still a duck in the scorebook though. Only Chris D aka Godzilla, Arthur D, Monster and Sulley (below left), offered a real threat, before swinging and missing once too often. Here's his signature tune.


Speaking of swinging and missing, some light entertainment was provided by the appearance of Moon Lennox (pictured above centre) at number 2. He must have set some kind of record for the number of consecutive missed swings before the young bowler finally got the line right and bowled him.

For once the tail-end couldn't save it and the innings ended on 118. The YG (above left in his fancy-dress outfit - the Steve Irwin nemesis) thought this was still a good target to bowl at, but the rapidly drying wicket and some average bowling proved otherwise. Only Cheeky M looked threatening with the ball, unlucky not to get a wicket. Milford cantered to the target for the loss of only three wickets (one run-out, one bowled by YG and another comedy moment from Moon - two bounces and a roll onto the stumps).

So it's all come down to the last game - as if they would want it any other way. A win next week at Amaranth and they go up. Lose and it's 'noddy cricket' (copyright Mr FB) for another year. Would that be so bad Ian?


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