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Match Report

Sat 31st July 2010

Saxton (0) v Bilton in Ainsty (6)
Bilton in Ainsty won by 9 wickets
Saxton 86 all out (Tim Lambert 5/32)
Bilton in Ainsty 87/1

As in time honoured fashion, the morning after a Saxton social gathering started with Gareth vomiting in various different places, including the local meadow,although sensibly waiting until an already and understandably irate Mrs B, having woke up to find a giant Canary (STILL wearing Golf Shoes) and Rampant Wraggy (was pictured below but now withdrawn - substitute Rabbit for Wraggy and you'll get the idea) spooning in her spare room, had left the house.
 After a morning of abject suffering and a post mortem about the previous evenings events, namely the amount of vodka consumed, Smokey's inebriated witterings, the delights of Stroh, and Gareth's somewhat forthright questioning of Baxter's cricketing credentials, it was over to the Saxton Oval for a game against bogey side Bilton, who surprisingly hadn't already started their usual 2 hour pre match warm up. On a team front, enforced changes saw the injured Potter, quarantined Dog Boy, and camp, sorry camping Steve Hutton replaced by Alex Hare, Harry Fletcher (pictured a few hours after the game) and Matt Ball. For the third time in a row the Skipper won the toss, in the main thanks to a lot of recent extra practice with Shelley 9 months pregnant. With numerous sore heads the sensible decision was made with Saxton going out to bat first.
3 And there's not really much else to say about the rest of the afternoon.
40 overs later, and 86 all out, Oringe top scoring with 13 from 59 balls, although it felt like 159.  Other highlights included Steve Harrison putting the curse on the everly expanding Jamie Winter (no longer pictured below - contravenes CP rules) by predicting a big innings.....the ball before he got out, DC and Rory's distinct lack of communication which resulted in the latter being run out, 2 very strange LBW decisions from an Umpire who hit the 3 figure mark halfway through the war in Vietnam, one resulting in most of Mr Harrison's cricketing equipment making heavy contact with the changing room walls, and young Harold's attempt to flick his second ball over Mid Wicket. Saxton sadly never looked like posting any kind of a total, with a lot of credit going to the away side, who bowled with discipline and control, in particular the left arm slow bowler who finished with a 5 for.
Despite bold and typically stupid predictions from Rory that we would definitely win, the early breakthrough never came, despite an excellent spell from DC, which eventually brought a deserved wicket, the only one in fact. It's fair to say that Bilton perhaps had the 'best' of the conditions, but there can be no complaints from a Saxton point of view. We never looked like competing, let alone winning, with the game definitely going down as one to quickly forget. The only other highlights from the home team's perspective in the 2nd innings being a good spell of bowling from Jamie W, Harry's comical attempts at fielding, and the Skipper's vocal concerns for Wraggy's safety in light of a period of sustained heavy wind.
Lets start again next week.
Still, its only a game, so as normal back to the Greyhound for a few beers, and the usual banter, this week focusing on Oringe's metamorphosis into Bucky, the possible use of Wraggy as a vibrating sex aid, trying to ascertain what Charlie actually sees in Rory, 'a' day in the life of Jamie', who also made it rather clear that he is undoubtedly a depraved pervert, Denno's dislike of his half cousin, and Smokey's new hobby of waking up next to 17 year old boys (Baxter being the preferred choice). Oh and Harry's day getting even worse with no one wanting to take up his invitation of a Chinese, Oringe even replying to the offer with howls of laughter. Least there's still Cribbage H.
Bramhope away next week......anything could happen.
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