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Match Report

Sat 9 June 2012

Div 5 Saxton A 82-0 (6) beat Long Marston A 80 all out (0)

Dear reader in my last report some of my loyal followers remarked that I had perhaps been over complimentary regarding our performance in beating Kirk Hammerton. Well in the true spirit of effective feedback here we go……

A wise old coach once said, “Take every match as it comes but for God’s sake win the toss once in a while.” Well after an abject performance with the coin and threats from other team members to usurp his role as chief tosser (upper) the skipper at last did the business and elected to bowl.

Credit must be given to our head grounds man and his hardworking grounds committee for the state of the wicket. The work of this small Band of Brothers often goes unheralded but it is pertinent to point out that the Saxton home game was one of only a few that was completed on Saturday.

Play was possible only after a delayed start and the opening pair of Bottomley and Veerasamy went about their “work”.

Bottomley, who has more stutters in his run up than George VI on a bad day, struck for the first of his four victims. This bowler/wicketkeeper has developed the art of putting the track to good use, including a new variation in his armoury with the ball pitching in the bowler’s half of the wicket and succeeding in hitting the stumps. When asked to repair his divot after bowling such a delivery the bowler muttered in disbelief that he had created it at all. A formal report is even now winging its way to Pete (They shall not pass) Snowden about the damage done to his beloved track.

After an effective couple of overs from Bottomley the ball suddenly started to take a trajectory all of its own defying the known Laws of Physics. The language that emerged from behind the stumps as Gilbertson muttered and snarled as he put his body on the line once more cannot be repeated in print - sufficed to say Bottomley was asked to take a well earned rest with Leeds A and E put on standby.

Meanwhile Veerasamy got his reward when Thomas Dennison took a good catch at point – the fielder making an early bid for the Man of the Match Award – more of this later.

The skipper then brought himself and Bayston on combining to take 3 wickets to further turn the screws on their hapless opponents.

The final coup de grace was executed by Buck and Bottomley with no mercy shown by Bottomley to the tail enders. He maintained his length and line much to the confusion of bowler and batters alike before being helped off the field to be served a late breakfast of Smoked Salmon, Earl Grey tea and a large helping of Victoria Sandwich.

Buck with his customary variation of pace ranging from dead slow, to, will it ever get there, was able to pick up a couple of wickets. One of his deliveries kept so low that on appeal for LBW by the bowler the only doubt in the umpire’s mind was whether the ball would have gone underneath the stumps.

A job well done and the opposition dismissed for 80 – however the book never lies and 2nd top scorer for Long Marston was extras – a telling statistic. The poor fielding performance at Wetherby continued as Bottomley denied himself a caught and bowled by launching himself at a return catch. This seismic event could only serve to flatten the wicket on a perfect length where the bowler landed – with the Long Marston batsmen applauding his efforts. Cunningham could only succeed in parrying the ball to the ground as if juggling with a ball made of molten lava. Buck had a chance off Bottomley that went towards him like an Exocet at blistering speed the fielder doing extremely well to even get a hand to the ball. Finally, a dive by Tyson defied the laws of gravity, to stop a ball that had already ground to a halt some seconds earlier, rounded the whole performance off with much shaking of heads particularly by skipper Cunningham.

And so to tea with lashings of Ginger Beer and Mrs Buck’s home made cakes.

81 runs were required for a home victory and the newly formed opening partnership of Buck and Dennison went to work. Buck has now had more partners than Ken Barlow on a good night – but could this be the beginning of the real thing? Watch this space dear reader.

At one stage Buck was outscoring Dennison but in the second over normality was soon restored. Dennison went on to play a number of cover drives that were as graceful as they were effective. This batter is in the form of his life with even leading edges travelling easily for 6. Appropriately he hit the winning runs making 45 not out and giving Saxton a 10 wicket victory. An easy choice for Man of the Match.

Some say that it is the performance that counts – I say second place is for the first of the losers!

Remember: “ Never get off the boat unless you are going all the way.”

Carpe Diem

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