Sat 25th May 2013
Saxton 157/9 beat Saxton
The pink protruding tounge from Dave the dog's drooling
mouth told it was one of those rare days that the yellow
orb we call the sun (or to Gilbo the 'noob burner'), was
ever present in the sky. Dave's lolling tongue the only
sign of life in this placid creature. Sherburn again.
An unsettling amount of people on crutches. Steve Hills
was apparently taken for a vampire last time, as somebody
saw fit to try and stab him with a wooden stump.
Saxton batted first, with a good steady start by Hills
and Potter. What was 50 for no wicket, quickly became
59 for 4. Every batsman could be accountable for his dismissal.
Poor shot selection. Bishop looks utterly bereft of form.
He is his own greatest critic, and 2 weeks away from the
game he will be questioning his motives for the sport.
Half an hour at the crease is the least he owes the club.
When you begin asking your self do you want to do this
every week, surely the answer is the question. Along with
this, he doesn't have the pedigree as a cryptic crossword
solver. Thin dog, ten letters.People were flabbergasted
at seeing this right leaning paper contraption called
The Times on the boundary edge. To see on page 3 a story
about the decline of pear export in Venezuela as opposed
to a pair of the finest from Essex was an alien concept.
Dave the dog was not the only one suffering in the heat.
Unfortunately for Dan Hewer he cannot hide under a bench,
unlike the top order batsman would rather do. His sweating
was not in vein after a solid 50. He put the top order
to shame and there was nothing to fault. Assisted by Bottomley,
they gave Saxton a cliché of hope. Walsh dug in
to see Saxton use their 45 overs.
With that in mind, Saxton could not afford to thrift away
extras like a Victorian gent's promiscuity, which is something
Sherbourne did. Actually, more specifically, young,tanned
Heseldine did. His foot was over the line like a chav
in a cash machine queue. He could probably reduce this
by shortening his run up by half a pitch, running in from
the other side of the Pennines. Then the ball leaves his
hand as flacid as his fringe. With his remaining breath
he delivers some unoriginal banter to the batsman.
Saxton bowled tightly, and there was a large improvement
in the field, still unable to convert those half chances
though. One step at a time I guess. In all though, it
was a comfortable looking scorecard for Sherburn, with
4 down. Another wicket before the 100 mark may have exposed
the bottom half of the Sherburn batting, and it would
have read for an interesting game.
Still, it was a rare day of sun. The scorer's enjoyed
it a bit too much maybe. “Scorers...scorers.....SCOrers.....SCORERS.....SSSSSSSSCCCCCCCORRRRRRREEEEEERRRS”.The
scorers didn't seem to be listening. All the umpire wanted
was a bloody signal that you acknowledged the no ball.
'The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining'.
Immortal words from John. F. Kennedy. Saxton it is now
time to repair the roof. No Mr Dennison, not the pavilion
roof, the proverbial roof. The roof is the top order protecting
the bowlers and at the moment it is letting more water
in than the titanic. So the sun is out, it is broken,
let us fix it. And at the end of the day, Dave the dog
confirmed that it truly is a dogs life. I cannot leave
you with that jovial quip 'every dog has its day', because
for Saxton CC, these seem to be the dog days.