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Match Report

Sat 25th May 2013

Divison 2

Saxton 157/9 beat Saxton 161/4


The pink protruding tounge from Dave the dog's drooling mouth told it was one of those rare days that the yellow orb we call the sun (or to Gilbo the 'noob burner'), was ever present in the sky. Dave's lolling tongue the only sign of life in this placid creature. Sherburn again. An unsettling amount of people on crutches. Steve Hills was apparently taken for a vampire last time, as somebody saw fit to try and stab him with a wooden stump.

Saxton batted first, with a good steady start by Hills and Potter. What was 50 for no wicket, quickly became 59 for 4. Every batsman could be accountable for his dismissal. Poor shot selection. Bishop looks utterly bereft of form. He is his own greatest critic, and 2 weeks away from the game he will be questioning his motives for the sport. Half an hour at the crease is the least he owes the club. When you begin asking your self do you want to do this every week, surely the answer is the question. Along with this, he doesn't have the pedigree as a cryptic crossword solver. Thin dog, ten letters.People were flabbergasted at seeing this right leaning paper contraption called The Times on the boundary edge. To see on page 3 a story about the decline of pear export in Venezuela as opposed to a pair of the finest from Essex was an alien concept.

Dave the dog was not the only one suffering in the heat. Unfortunately for Dan Hewer he cannot hide under a bench, unlike the top order batsman would rather do. His sweating was not in vein after a solid 50. He put the top order to shame and there was nothing to fault. Assisted by Bottomley, they gave Saxton a cliché of hope. Walsh dug in to see Saxton use their 45 overs.

With that in mind, Saxton could not afford to thrift away extras like a Victorian gent's promiscuity, which is something Sherbourne did. Actually, more specifically, young,tanned Heseldine did. His foot was over the line like a chav in a cash machine queue. He could probably reduce this by shortening his run up by half a pitch, running in from the other side of the Pennines. Then the ball leaves his hand as flacid as his fringe. With his remaining breath he delivers some unoriginal banter to the batsman.

Saxton bowled tightly, and there was a large improvement in the field, still unable to convert those half chances though. One step at a time I guess. In all though, it was a comfortable looking scorecard for Sherburn, with 4 down. Another wicket before the 100 mark may have exposed the bottom half of the Sherburn batting, and it would have read for an interesting game.

Still, it was a rare day of sun. The scorer's enjoyed it a bit too much maybe. “Scorers...scorers.....SCOrers.....SCORERS.....SSSSSSSSCCCCCCCORRRRRRREEEEEERRRS”.The scorers didn't seem to be listening. All the umpire wanted was a bloody signal that you acknowledged the no ball. 'The time to repair the roof is when the sun is shining'. Immortal words from John. F. Kennedy. Saxton it is now time to repair the roof. No Mr Dennison, not the pavilion roof, the proverbial roof. The roof is the top order protecting the bowlers and at the moment it is letting more water in than the titanic. So the sun is out, it is broken, let us fix it. And at the end of the day, Dave the dog confirmed that it truly is a dogs life. I cannot leave you with that jovial quip 'every dog has its day', because for Saxton CC, these seem to be the dog days.


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