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Match Report

Sat 10th August 2013

Saxton 252-5 (5) (Matt Ball 108, Steve Hills 70) beat Sherburn Eversley 199-7 (1) (Will Martin 64, Jonny Kendall 53)

Divison 2

.Fresh from a couple of nail consuming induced perpetual rectum clenching victories, Saxton were back at the Dennison Pantheon (the Dennison dynasty now deserved winners of the YCB award, and all you have to do is look at the pavilion to see why) in some of the strongest form since coming into the second division. Ironically, with depleted sides Saxton keep pulling off these wins, and this week captain Potter was on glory supporting duty at the charity shield (no, he is not a Wigan fan). In came Steve Hutton, running around the boundary with higher knees than a triple jumper.

Sherburn, in poorer form, who beat Saxton in the first half of the season arguably when Saxton were in their rut. Saxton did their customary warm up, of drinking cans of cola and watching the other team warm up, and with Hills on skipper duty planning an abdication, Saxton were put into bat first. Enter Matt Ball. Fresher than a virgin freshman on freshers week with a pack of refreshers and a WKD, wet hair probably from flushing his head in a toilet after being sick, after a heavy night of alcohol also having to spend it with ex-Saxton player Rory Coe. Out he walked with pads on the wrong way, and emphasised his dopiness by remarking in the middle 'oh i'll just change one, it'll be fine'.

Heseltine, and Beals bowling well and tight. The former getting some movement into the left handed Bishop, who watched the balls go past the stumps, a bee's anatomy away from hitting them, with his customary dramatic leaves. The going was steady. When Ball finally got one in the slot, he slapped it back and straight...into the fielder's forehead at mid off. He looked like he was batting a wasp away trying to catch it and it went straight through his pitta bread strength hands. Sawdust last week, blood this week. Stitches required, and if the still slightly drunk Ball's patience was to be tested, so was his stomach.

With the aforementioned player heading off to A&E, Saxton proceeded with the rest of their innings. Finally managing to get to 3 an over at the 20th it was one for the purists. But, Saxton were about to learn the virtues of keeping wickets in hand. After the drinks break, Ball and Bishop conferred that the rate needed to be up, sharing another good partnership of 75, and after doing a job of building a solid and steady platform, the intent was to up the rate. This worked out better for Ball more than Bishop as he departed for a hard earned 37 and an intimidating send off from Wainwright who's screaming was that loud Bramham thought Leeds fest was in town early. Baxter said that he should have carried on to his 50 and then got himself out with loose shots, well young Baxter, who is getting used to the idea of batting now, this is a team game.

In came Hewer making 16 and definitely wasn't out when given out. Hills, another contender for the averages joined Ball at the crease. Displaying some brilliant hitting sending the ball to all parks the Saxton innings started to gain momentum. Bishop silently wept as he watched the averages award dissapear into the abyss, as Ball joined the hitting party and the red was flying around like a clowns nose at rowdy, unruly kid's 6th birthday party. Then he came down the track to Heseldine's unneccesarily long run-up, and hit it back over his head. It was the only moment in the day that he was quiet, along with when he got out for a duck. Hills departed for 70 off 52 balls.

Reader's you know what i'm building up to. Ball, 21 years of age, many 50's to his name, the crowd watched the etchings in the score book as they tallied close to that halycyon three figure number; one, zero, zero - one hundred. The last time it happened, Crampton had a tash and the world was in black and white. In customary style, it was a punishing blow and the ball sailed to the boundary. There it was. The maiden ton, the dream of every cricketer, no matter what level, to get 100 runs. Removal of the helmet, and his pale sobering, actually, he's pale anyway, grin confirmed the achievement. Bat a lot like a sabre, He even nearly killed somebody in the process; expect Ball to be in FHM's '100 modern day Vikings' list.

250 marked surpassed, Saxton finished on 252, their highest of the year. A close contender for tea of the year award was served up by Dan Hewer and his mother. And with that Saxton had a total to defend.

The urgency of the batting was lost, and in came the lachrimose attitude to fielding. Going through the motions, the Sherburn opening pair were mirrowing Saxton in their steadiness, but they didn't have the firepower at their disposal to match their explosion in the run rate after drinks. Kendall batted well for his 50, but he left a lot of runs to be scored at the other end. Martin made a good 64, but the rate could just not be kept up with.

Dennis Crampton as ever bowled tightly, as did Hills, both conceding less than 4 runs an over. Walsh, given the opportunity with the ball sprayed it around like a darts player with dartitis. Young Todd bowled well, and recaptured some the rhythm he has lacked in recent weeks, and could prove a very useful bowling option. The young bucks at Saxton are showing themselves to be a very handy bunch of young cricketers, setting a high standard in the field.

The game gradually petered out. In the last 2 overs a stampede of cows ran onto the field and did a synchronised ballet performance before being shot by a facist right wing group. They didn't really happen, i missed the last two overs and made that up. Sherburn finished on a respectable 199-7. And so Saxton's enlightening form continues, and play bottom of the league Hillam next week. Safety looks guaranteed, so it is up to Saxton now what they do to continue with this form. Keep the momentum going, and see how effective it really is when Sicklinghall come to town, at what is becoming a somewhat of a fortress for Saxton at home.

Wickets in hand, no matter how many runs you're on, as long you have wickets in hand anything is possible. Hills knock shouldn't be overlooked, but the day belongs to Ball. If we are to go with Samuel Beckett's quite pessimistic dictum 'fail again, fail better', there is lots more runs where they came from, because perfection is never ever reached. A human invention of unreachable heights, there is no limits put to human achievement. And if Bale doesn't go to Real Madrid, this will be the best summer since Nickelodeon showed Saved By The Bell non-stop for a week.

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